Babysitting a Blond Brat
by aobabe
Summary: AU. When the hot and famous supermodel Kise Ryouta gets a death threat from an unknown source, it is up to the new Deputy Chief of Police, Aomine Daiki, to make sure that he stays alive, WITHOUT falling for the stud. /AoKise! BL; rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Babysitting a Blond Brat

**Fandom**: Kuroko no basuke

**Rating**: T

**Pairing**: AoKise (Gonna get there someday)

**Word Count**: 1,499 approx.

**A/N**: So the world is supposed to end today. And I'm sick. SO LET'S CELEBRATE WITH AOKISE! /pachi pachi /brick'd. Anyway, this is not a one-shot. And I've rated it T for now, because Aomine lol stahp cursing. This is also set in a future AU! And loads of Jap words which have been italicized because who doesn't like italicized Jap words ehehe. But! I really need to know how this is because well, I'm like a NEWB—more like, N00B—in writing sob. So, reviews are more than appreciated!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

* * *

_Chapter 1_

"It's written with a red crayon," said a certain 25-year-old tanned blunette, as he stared at the paper in his hand incredulously. "How the fuck did you think this was legit?"

"I- I- I'm sorry sir!" his subordinate stuttered in response.

"You made me get out of bed and come to this godforsaken bar at 4 a.m. saying it was something really urgent and then show me this piece of shit written by a kindergarten kid and now you're… what?" the former said calmly with a crooked smile (though his eyes weren't smiling at all). "Do you know how pissed I am, Sakurai?"

Sakurai gulped as he felt a chill down his spine. He was so dead. "I'm truly, humbly, seriously, extremely, completely sorry sir!" his forehead was almost touching his knee— that's how much he was bowing. "B- But it was from the higher-ups! I- I- I was told to not wait till the morning, Aomine_-san_!"

All Sakurai could hear was a 'tsk' and nothing more. He slowly lifted his head up just to see Aomine glaring at the paper in his hand.

Aomine scratched the back of his head and after asking for a refill, blatantly said, "I don't want to take care of this." He thrust the paper at Sakurai and cursed the entire police force of the city silently. Out of the five hundred and eighty seven cops in the city's jurisdiction, he was the one chosen—more like forced— to investigate this stupid case.

"Aomine_-san_… I'm s—" The other slapped him, not caring about how much strength he put into it. He was so goddamn pissed.

"If you dare apologize again I'm gonna tell all the guys at the station about your _shoujo manga _stash."

"Please don't! I'm so sorr—" This time, the delicate man slapped himself to shut himself up.

After a few more glasses of cheap beer, they started talking again.

"So, who the hell thought that '_You're going to die by my hands painfully because I'm after you_' would be a good way to scare someone? Not to mention the fact that it's written with a crayon and that the paper is torn from some notebook. What a dumbass." Aomine yawned and stretched his arms. He had worked overtime these past few days because he was still new to the post of 'Deputy Chief of Police' but he was tired already.

"U- Umm sir, it's actually because of the person this was sent to," Sakurai started in a low voice. "It was none other than Kise Ryouta!"

The blunette stared at the brown haired, baby faced cop sitting in front of him. "Huh?"

Kise who? He had never heard of that name before. "Who is that?"

The brown haired man was stupefied. "You're not serious are you, Aomine_-san_? You don't know Kise Ryouta—_the _Kise Ryouta!?"

"I want to punch your pretty face." He glared at Sakurai. Who in the world was this '_the_ Kise Ryouta'? "You're pissing me off, Sakurai."

"I'm so sorry for everything s- sir!" his voice broke as he started with his apologies again. "E- Excuse my rudeness! K- Kise Ryouta is a famous model. You could say that he's a supermodel a-actually. He has been voted number one in many popularity polls s-so I thought that you would know him Aomine_-san_!" he erupted, in a really small voice.

"Oh?" The tanned cop grinned sardonically. '_Kise Ryouta. Sounds like another dumb pretty face._'

The silence was back. The dim lit bar was suffused with only the occasional sounds of the two of them sipping beer or the commentators talking about the basketball game being displayed on the TV there. The sunlight had already begun to insinuate itself through the glass window in one corner and the time was slowly ticking away.

"Let's go to work."

"Y- Yes sir!"

**-x-**

It was a Monday; and not just any other Monday. Aomine knew that. It was the day the Chief was going to get back after a long paid vacation. And Aomine had to ask that _jerk_ loads of things. Firstly, why he was gone for over 2 months without helping him get used to his new job. And secondly, why the hell was he being forced to babysit a pretty face.

The tanned cop changed into his dark blue uniform in the police personnel locker room. He quickly pinned up his badges and skillfully buttoned up the French cuffs of his shirt. He was neat and looked proper from top to bottom. He dressed really well; almost like he was going to get married.

He had nailed his uniform except for his tie. He hated ties. He never understood why people even bothered to wear ties. Like always, he just took an already loosened tied tie and hung it around his neck. Looking at himself in the mirror, he tightened it up a bit and deftly placed the police hat on his head.

He murmured something about how hard it was to get ready everyday as he inspected himself once again in the mirror.

Aomine had spent his entire life living carelessly; not worrying about anyone or anything. The only thing he ever wanted to do was to be a policeman. And now that he was one, he didn't really like it. Sure, he felt great helping out people and nabbing criminals all that; but spending more time than a chick to get ready really got on his nerves.

And the fact that he wasn't a morning person made everyone in the station shudder because of the aura emitted by their superior. Today wasn't an exception either.

Which is why, when the unsuspecting Chief entered; Aomine just walked to him coolly and pulled him apart, ready to erupt.

"Where the fuck were you these past 2 months!?" an enraged Deputy yelled, gripping his boss's tie, ready to choke him if he said something wrong. He was totally ignoring the startled looks of the passing civilians because, well— he was so goddamn pissed.

"Aomine— let me go!" the black haired guy squeaked. "I swear I'll shoot you!" He kicked the blunette's knee and escaped from his grip. He fixed his tie and shook his head at him.

"You're still the same _Aho_mine." Lowering his volume a bit, he said, "I was looking for a wife."

The younger guy looked at his Chief with a bewildered expression on his face. After a slight pause, he burst out again. "Who the hell takes off 2 months to go looking for a wife? Did you go search for her in some mountain? Couldn't you have just used the internet?"

The black haired man stared at the blunette for a while; he then turned his gaze towards the sky and with a gallant expression said, "The internet wouldn't help me search for the wifi always wanted."

Aomine gawked at him. He had been gone for two whole months, but there was no change in him. Not one bit. He face-palmed himself and said, "Your puns are still the lamest, Izuki_-senpai_."

But Izuki didn't hear him. He was in his own world, scribbling down his '_masterpiece_' in his notebook. "Wow, I'm so… punny."

"That's for writing down complaints and important information!" the Deputy yelled once again, yanking the police notebook from his boss's hand. He had such a bad headache that he wanted to kill his _senpai _right there and then.

Izuki frowned at him before saying that he should be mellower while reprimanding others. His companion only sighed and rubbed his temples after returning the note.

"Ah, _senpai_, I need to know one more thing. Why is this stupid Kisa Shouta case given to me?" asked Aomine. His name _was_ Kisa Shouta, right?

"You mean Kise Ryouta. Not Kisa Shouta. Have you been reading some weird _manga_ lately?"

"What? No! Just answer me already."

"Why are you avoiding my eyes?"

No response.

"Fine," Izuki said, exhaling. "That guy really hates people who fall for him; dudes included. So, we've chosen you, a relentless, hardhearted, grim, implacable—" The sound of Aomine's knuckles cracking made Izuki stop his detailed description of him. He fidgeted with his tie and after gulping said, "Well, yeah. We've chosen you to take care of him."

Aomine could just stare at him. "I'm sure there are other guys except me."

"Yeah, but you're our best bet."

Again, all the blunette could do was just stare and ask pointless and moronic questions. He didn't want to babysit a spoilt supermodel brat. The death threat—more like a 5-year-old kid's prank—wasn't even proved to be legit.

"It's time to get back, _Aho_mine."

"Just tell me," Aomine said with pleading but confident blue eyes. "Why is it me?"

Izuki sighed and shook his head. "Isn't it obvious? It's because you like—no, you can't _live_ without _them_."

"What? I can't live without what?"

The Chief sighed again.

_This guy is so stupid._

"_Oppai_, _Aho_mine. You can't live without _oppai_."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Babysitting a Blond Brat

**Rating**: T

**Word Count**: 2,232 approx.

**A/N**: Super late update! I'm so gomen. ; w; And I must warn you that I LACK HUMOR. So, okay yep. Also, thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews and favs and follows I mean, really I feel so loved. Thank you! I will work hard! And I had my sugoi nee-chan (whom I call BEECHAN because I can) beta read this because I have no faith in myself so arigatou I LOVE YOU! Well, that's it with my boring A/N ewe. Please do review, it means a lot! And I hope you enjoy reading! ～（ゝ。∂）

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_Chapter 2_

"Didn't I tell you _never_ to address me like that—even by mistake—Pretty Boy?" an extremely annoyed Hyuuga Junpei hissed. A vein throbbed in his head and he was about to go berserk. He didn't even care that people gasped on the street and walked past quickly, trying to get away from the eccentric and weird group.

A middle aged man with extremely short black hair that parted on the left named Moriyama, who was with them, said, "Oh come on, give the _poor guy_ a break. He's been modeling the entire day." And after looking about at the swarm of people crowding and whispering about them, he said, "People are staring alright? Let's go."

And the 'poor guy' could only say, "Yeah manager! You're so mean! I only called you Hyuuga_-senpai_ once to—" A punch landed on his stomach, interrupting his speech and causing him to yell out in pain. "It hurts! It hurts! I'm sorry!"

"Kise Ryouta… I'm going to strangle you right here and right now if you don't shut up."

And _the _Kise Ryouta didn't object. He knew that messing with his manager while he was in his clutch mode was a VIP ticket to death.

"I'm never going to understand boys."

The three of them turned to stare at the peach haired girl who suddenly said (and suddenly appeared) something weird. A teary eyed Kise yelped, "Momoi_cchi_! Save me! Uwaah." He jumped at her and clung onto her, ignoring the abnormal _extra_ softness he felt near his chest by letting out a nervous cough.

"Jun_-chan_ is bullying Ki_-chan_ again?" the girl with the F-cup asked, hauling the puppy like male towards herself and squishing him in a tight hug.

"Jun_-chan_?" The bespectacled man managed to say in a deathly calm tone, before the sounds of his knuckles cracking came into hearing range. "Momoi Satsuki, I have observed that you have still not gotten rid of that insolent nickname you have given me, Hyuuga Junpei. I want to say that—"

"Wow, you're smart, aren't you, _uncle_?" A high pitched voice, which couldn't have belonged to anyone else other than an _underdeveloped _kid_—_as the 'uncle' would have described the voice, if he hadn't just taken a bullet straight to his ego (which broke him for a while)—sneered.

Another one followed, saying, "Look at that _uncle_, taking their full names as if they're getting married."

Silence followed. Kise and Momoi could have sworn that they heard something like rumbling thunder noises being emitted from Hyuuga. (It was only way, way later; that they started the joke that maybe he was starving like a pig).

It was a while before any of them stirred. "I have coupons for a discount at Muk_-kun _'s Patisserie cum Café!" Momoi said cheerily, her cheeks flushed red, indicating her barely passed attempt at not laughing.

Kise—who wasn't looking any better than the peach haired girl—also chirped, "Yay! Murasakibara_cchi_'s pastries! Let's go!"

During this time though, the forever distracted Moriyama stared at the crowd that was now disappearing, silently wishing that he had the girl-in-the-blue-sweater's number; or the _loli _-with-the-long-hair's e-mail address. He was oblivious to what was going on.

But Hyuuga was frozen, the expression behind his glasses imperceptible. Some would have thought that the sobriety on his face reflected his thoughts, which would have been something along the lines of meeting some president or deciding how to propose to someone.

But in all actuality, it was something like: "He called me an uncle. An _uncle?_ I'm an uncle…"

**-x-**

After licking the icing off his fingers, Kise Ryouta let out a long, happy sigh. "Murasakibara_cchi_ is the best at making cakes."

Ignoring him, Moriyama straight facedly said, "Kise, get me that cute but also very intelligent looking employee's number." He stared at a girl who had caught his eye and… continued staring.

"I don't even know who she is!"

"B- But she's been looking over here occasionally and smiling for no reason!"

"Eh? Isn't that obvious? That girl—" Momoi stopped to raise her fork and point it at Kise. "—loves Ki_-chan_."

"Bingo! I thought so too, Momoi_cchi_."

"I still need her number."

"Stop being so _ecchi_, Moriyama_-senpai_."

"I'm not _ecchi_!"

"Yes, _senpai _is _ecchi_!"

"Ki_-chan_'s right! Moriyama_-san_ _ecchi_!"

"Shut up!"

"_Ecchi! Ecchi! ecchi_—"

The ear splitting '_shut up_' which interrupted them made each one of them let out an equally ear piercing shriek (The most deafening one belonging to our dear blond model). It was a while before the _three idiots_ turned to look at the monster who was also at their table. Silently, they muttered apologies and went back to eating their food.

The silence that had turned from uncomfortable to awkward seemed to be unbearable for everyone except Hyuuga. So when Momoi couldn't take anymore of Kise's restless fidgeting, she chirped, "_Ne_, Ki_-chan_ and Juuhyuuga_-san_, what happened to that death threat?"

Kise 'pfft'-ed at the '_Juuhyuuga'_ but shut himself up quickly. He was glad to not have to deal with the quietness anymore, but the topic raised was a bit… weird. "I'm not sure… maybe, manager knows?"

Three heads cautiously turned to the monster who hadn't said a word since being called something really _traumatic_. It felt as if he wasn't acknowledging their presence; but without even looking up at them, he said, "The police have decided to assign someone to your case."

Almost immediately a gasp escaped the blond's lips as he stood up and placed his hands on the table, leaning in close to Hyuuga. "Whoa! I'm going to get an inspector all to myself? Really? I'm going to get to see investigations and get to use handcuffs and… A gun! Will I get a gun? Will I be allowed to wear a police uniform and walk around with a badge and show it to people? Can I—"

"Shut up and sit down, doggy."

Hyuuga could have sworn that he saw two ears atop Kise's head and a tail wagging at the speed of light when he asked all those ridiculous questions. He also saw the tail come to a slow halt as he was told to sit. It made his anger slim out a bit. _A bit._

"You do that once again and I'm forcing broccoli down your throat tonight."

Kise gulped and slid back into his seat, mentally puking at the thought of eating broccoli. He straightened himself when his manager cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, the inspector who's going to take care of you is some… Aomine? The new Deputy Chief of Police… what's his name now?" After pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes tight to recall the name, he finally looked up at them, remembering the detail.

"Aomine Daiki."

Again, there was silence at their table. Though this time, it was broken faster.

Momoi, who had been sipping a milkshake quietly since she asked about the whole death threat thing; stood up and almost deafeningly yelled, "Dai_-chan!"_

Kise joined in the yelling. "You know him?"

"No!"

A confused glance was shot at her. "Huh?"

She returned him a confused look of her own and quietly said, "His name is _so cute_. I mean, it's like, _Dai ki_! Dai_-chan_! Can't you see it?"

Moriyama shook his head slowly, not sure what the hell was happening.

The monster growled. "I am going to kill each one of you slowly, and painfully."

**-x-**

Kise stretched himself, his hands shooting up straight above his head. He had had a tiring day. Dealing with his evil manager had drained him of all his energy and he was glad that he wasn't slaughtered.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and putting his earphones in, he started making his way back home. It was almost six, and the sun was starting to set, making an orange shade encompass the sky. It made the blond kind of sad. He felt that the sun was saying goodbye; since it was going to disappear again for a while.

His life was pretty much the same. Wake up, smile for the cameras, make people happy, be loved by millions and then go back to sleep. He didn't even like people anymore. They were too troublesome (more like annoying, irritating, distasteful, selfish and way more whiny than him) for him. Just give him some soup, and he was a happy child.

He sighed and kicked a pebble and continued walking. He mentally checked things in his to-do list. '_Zunon Boy Photoshoot? Check. Return Murasakibaracchi his money? Check. Compliment that old-but-famous-photographer like manager said? Check. Buy toilet paper? Cross! Find out about the threat? Hmm, check?'_

The name that was mentioned a few minutes ago came to his mind all of a sudden. _Aomine Daiki_. Kise wondered what he would be like. Would he have a moustache? Or maybe huge muscles that looked like boulders? What if he was a timid new officer who was secretly a sadistic _ore-sama? _He shook his head violently, pushing away the thought that maybe the inspector was just a pedophile or a whiny fan.

'_I hope he's super cool— even cooler than me!_'

Kise brooded over the various possibilities of his—_his!_—inspector and waited for the signal to turn green. When it did, he casually started walking to the other side, looking down at his own feet, hoping he wouldn't be recognized by anyone until he got back home.

_Snap!_

Literally, _snap_.

A blinding white light flashed at Kise, making his eyes lose focus for a second and stumble back. He cursed himself, muttering about how he spoke too soon.

'_Oh man,_' He mentally grumbled. '_Can't people ever leave me alone?_'

His eyes were shut tight, unable to take the sudden brightness that made shocks of pain travel from his eyes straight to his brain. He should have opened them earlier though, because when he went back a few steps, his arms swinging about, swatting a nonexistent target, he actually did swat something.

Something he shouldn't have touched.

A slap across Kise's face made him yelp and jump another step behind, which made him step on something very… soft? The ferocious barks that followed a nanosecond later confirmed his suspicions. And opening his eyes, he saw a flushed old lady, barely five feet tall standing in front of him, her hand raised, ready to slap him again.

Kise wanted to yell at the woman that he didn't mean to touch her freaking old bust but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He yelped and took some more steps back when he saw the lady walking towards him. Ah, he was so screwed.

And in all this mess, a kid (who was scared shitless by the dog especially) ran right into the middle of the street and the most untimely thing happened. The signal changed to red.

Even though Kise could only stretch out his hand and yell for the kid to get back, he was too late. The cars had started accelerating, and he panicked. He closed his eyes tightly and desperately prayed to all the gods he knew, his hands now pressed to his ears, blocking out any noise. Until—

"Don't play near the streets anymore, kid."

"I- I'm s-sorry, I didn't—"

"It's alright. Things happen."

"T-Thank you, officer."

Opening his eyes, the blond saw the man to whom the voice belonged. The man was taller than him, tanned and in a police uniform. The word 'cool' resounded in his mind.

'Cool' soon turned to 'scary' though, when the man turned and started yelling at the two stupid girls (before they could abscond) who used their camera in the middle of the road, and then at the old woman who was ready to chop off someone's head for touching her.

It earned him a hard slap, and he could only hold his hand up to his face, slowly rubbing the skin that was stinging him, as he cursed under his breath. And _then_, he turned to face Kise. And our blond was instantly amazed.

Amazed at how he had worn his tie so wrong that it looked like a bell attached to a cow's neck.

He almost laughed out before the tanned man walked over to him, and told him, "I don't care if you're stupid, just don't make things dangerous for others."

Kise nodded, letting his hand drop from his face. He removed his earphones and said, "I'm sorry, officer."

A 'Yeah-I'm-the-boss' smirk spread across the cop's face as he said, "That's right. You better be."

The blond was astonished. A stranger had never treated him like this before. Among the few thousands of people he had met, they would either be all over him, yelling that they loved him; or would be staring at him like he was some sort of Greek god, _completely_ unlike the cop in front of him, who was _more_ interested in a big boobed girl who was walking past them _than_ in Kise.

The shorter man didn't even bother thinking _why_ he was thinking like a masochist but just stared at the tanned male before him. And without his knowledge, the words just escaped his lips.

"I'm going to be your _kawaii_ and _eroi_ sidekick."

The cop snapped his head back to the shorter blond and looked at him incredulously. He grunted. "Hah?"

What the hell just happened?


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Babysitting a Blond Brat

**Rating**: T

**Word Count**: 2,454 approx.

**A/N**: HOLY FUCKING HELL I AM A LITTLE SHIT WHO HASN'T UPDATED THIS FOR ALMOST HALF A YEAR and I'll just go sit in the corner of shame.  
All of you precious and lovely people who have reviewed/favorited/followed this story, let me just tell you that I love each and every one of you and I am a lazy prick so forgive me for being like this. And Happy Birthday, Kise! Ah, Kise. What a cutie. He deserves all the love in the world.  
**kurokonnichiwa **is my awesome beta as always, waah she's great! Thank you once again to everyone who has read and reviewed and everything the first two chapters! And Aomine is a big pervert, let me tell you this. (¬‿¬)  
Oh and there's a mini-Jap!dictionary at the end of the chapter, just because I feel that some words sound so much better in Japanese than in English.  
Reviews are more than appreciated! Enjoy! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

_Chapter 3  
_

Aomine was, by nature, an angry young man who could and would get pissed easily (and remained in that pissed off state almost _all_ the time); and today was no exception. In fact, today was the sort of day where, if a person would wander into a 5 feet radius of him, the unlucky soul was in risk of getting a broken rib or a busted lip by the time they decided to walk—or rather, run, with their tail between their legs—away.

And the cause for Aomine having such a foul mood that made people flinch with just a glance was the same blond that had caused the blunette to retain a bruised cheek from that old woman's hand two days ago. It still hurt him, but like hell was he going to let anyone know why or how it happened. Like hell.

And after causing the ruckus, the blond had followed Aomine all around the city as Aomine patrolled the streets, looking out for the citizens, like a little _pup_. The tanned male mocked himself—for hours, sincerely—for even comparing that ridiculously shiny kid to a pup, because no pup annoyed someone so much that they felt like ripping something to shreds. But this blond had seriously made Aomine want to punch someone's face in, especially _his_.

The shorter man kept chanting stuff behind him as he tailed Aomine, telling him how _cool_ he was, how he wanted them to be _best friends_, how he never felt like _this_ with anyone before and how he may have fallen in _love at first sight_ with "Omawari_-cchi_". Aomine groaned in annoyance as he recalled that. Who in their right fucking mind goes about telling such pathetically retarded and irritating things continuously in a pesky voice to a person they _just_ bloody met _while_ following them around the city for hours like a goddamn stalker?!

That idiot blond brat.

"Hmm, you've been out of it all morning. What crawled up your ass and died there?" Izuki enquired (albeit a bit apprehensively), like the responsible Chief that he was, more worried about the other (visibly shuddering and fearfully cowering) staff in the room _than_ Aomine.

Aomine glared at him, not giving a shit about their difference in status. He only wanted to go home as soon as possible and down a bottle of beer. No, two bottles. If he _ever _sees that sparkly blond again, he was going to bare handedly _strangle_ the doomed bastard. Nothing else seemed to be a better idea for him. How the heck did an idiot manage to make him so angry?

He was about to ask his superior about the entire _Kissy person_ thing to distract himself, when Sakurai's tiny voice called Izuki and greeted him. The newly recruited brunette had another sort-of-serious case assigned to him, so it was his first time seeing their senior since he returned not too many days back. Sakurai asked Izuki how he was and why he had been gone for the past few months; and Aomine groaned on hearing Sakurai's question, bracing himself for what was about to come.

"I was looking for a wife."

_Wait for it_, Aomine thought, _it's almost here._

"Eh? Why not just use a computer and look through an online matrimony site, Chief?"

"If I did that,"

Aomine groaned internally this time as he counted the seconds till Izuki would—

"I'm sure we wouldn't _click_."

Aomine face-palmed himself as Izuki smiled triumphantly, pleased with that lame ass pun of his and Sakurai laughed awkwardly, hoping that his oh-so-dear job wouldn't be stolen from him by his stupid bosses for not kissing their stupid, proud butts.

Izuki snapped out of it after a few moments and turned to Aomine. And by the look on Izuki's face, the blunette knew that the chief had some good (no, not really) news for him. He cursed his luck _again._ Maybe this was divine retribution getting back at him. He really _did _scare off all the girls in middle and high school by throwing exotic reptiles and colorful amphibians on/near them. And drenching his fellow police-in-training (_especially _the _non-_flat-chested girls wearing thin layers of clothes) with ice cold water at four a.m. on winter mornings was _extremely _refreshing.

He lightly smirked at the memories flooding back into his mind. Seeing them run and scream with that terrified expression on their faces sure was fun. Especially when their clothes would become totally see through because of the water and the way their boobs went up and down as they ran… _mmnh_.

_Good times, good times._

He was about to laugh at his antics from long ago, when Izuki said, "Deputy, I've got some information."

The raven then turned to Sakurai and asked him some things related to Kisa/Kise/whoever that Aomine didn't bother paying attention to; and they wait for Sakurai to grab a file from some other guy. Izuki eyed Aomine (and the weird way he was smiling) skeptically, and Aomine didn't bother hiding how irritated that was making him as he frowned. It was like the chief could see that he was thinking about something… weird. _Ugh, that would suck balls_, Aomine thought. Sakurai returned after a few minutes and handed a file to the chief. Izuki pulled out a sheet of paper from it and started briefing Aomine about the (not really) victim.

"Kise Ryouta. His security is extremely important as his father is one of the most influential businessmen in the whole of Japan, and he does not want to lose his dear son by any chance—"

"Daddy's pet," Aomine mocked.

Ignoring his junior's sarcasm, Izuki continued, "—and Kise himself is a valuable asset for many entertainment companies. Even foreign agencies want him to sign contracts with them and it's not hard to see why. His bright personality and radiant attitude makes him the perfect prince charming…" he trailed off and scanned the remaining contents of the page.

With amusement written all over his face, he turned to Sakurai and waved the document at him, saying, "Who wrote this? This is too funny to even be funny. A love letter, honestly."

This startled the brunette, and he looked back and forth, from the paper, Chief Izuki, and Deputy Aomine, again and again. And when he realized that he was close to fainting, he bowed (even though it wasn't him who typed this out) and pretty much yelled, "I-I'm sorry! I'm s-so, so, sorry! I should—"

"Shut up, Sakurai," Aomine hissed as he got up from his seat and snatched the sheet of paper from his _senpai_ and started reading everything printed on the sheet silently. He was laughing way too hard by the time he reached the second paragraph. And by the time he read the last line, he was both pissed and amused.

Also a little intrigued, he admitted with difficulty.

"Kise Ryouta. Hmm…" he mumbled under his breath—_finally _getting his name right—and handed the document to Sakurai as he slumped back into his brand new and extremely comfortable chair. "Hey, why haven't I seen a picture of him, Chief?"

Izuki's eyes widened as he heard Aomine, and getting totally out of character, he incredulously exclaimed, "You haven't seen _Kise Ryouta_?! What sort of isolated and solitary life are you living!?"

This only made Aomine glare at his senior because it was the second time someone responded to him in this way when Kise's name came about.

"Well, I'm sorry for only reading ero-hon and gravure— fuck."

Sakurai instantly wished he would forget that he just heard Aomine confess that he watches porn at_ this_ age. And Izuki was finding this too funny; which is why he randomly thought that _now_ was the best time to say, "And you'll be meeting him today," and casually walk out of the Deputy's office; as the Deputy in question sat there, gaping at the many papers that said 'Certificate of Achievement' for various things, hanging in his office.

**-x-**

It had been well over an hour since the rumored 'supermodel who can make a girl orgasm by just glancing at her', that the woman in the forensics department was screaming about, was supposed to come down to the station, and Aomine's shift was already done. He had already changed out of his uniform and was standing outside the big building with a sling bag on his shoulder. He only wanted to go home as soon as possible and down two bottles of beer. No, that would be three bottles now.

But if he left now and Izuki found out, Aomine would be in trouble. He suddenly recalled the events of the morning and he banged his head on the lamp post near him, desperately wishing for those memories to disappear, if there was no way to unsay those few words he said.

Who would go and tell people from their workplace that they watch porn at twenty five? That's right, no one.

Which was the reason why Aomine deemed himself stupid.

It was going to be 6 soon, and Aomine decided that he was going to ditch Kise Ryouta and go watch some bigger idiots than himself joke around on TV and laugh at them. He took a good look around the place again for any signs of a 'charmingly attractive bishounen' as the same forensics lady said, but he couldn't really see anyone like that. (Or maybe the way he viewed people was a little distorted, but he did not consider that possibility.)

He stretched his arms above his head and pulled his T-shirt down a bit because it had slid up; then examined his shoelaces, making sure that they were tied correctly. Being a cop really messed up his sense of fashion and clothing. If he wasn't neat, he felt like he was going to be choked by one of his superiors from training school, even though it had been years since he last saw them.

He lifted his head after inspecting himself, and that was when everything went wrong.

Why couldn't he have just dropped dead?

A sparkly and glittering creature stood facing him, with the most disturbingly dazzling grin plastered on his face, only inches away from Aomine. Aomine's instant reaction was to yelp and jump two steps back hastily, resulting in his head hitting the pole which he had used to head-bang not long ago.

Aomine blinked.

_Thiscannotbehappening. Thiscannotbehappening. Thiscannotbehappening._

"O~ ma~ wa~ ri~ cchi~" the same annoying voice that Aomine was desperately trying to erase from his memory called out, the pitch of the voice increasing with each syllable.

_You'renotreal. You'renotreal. You'renotreal._

"Hey! What a small world! Hey! I said, hey! Are you ignoring me? Eh? How mean! Open your eyes Omawa—"

Aomine cut him off by slapping his hand on the blond's mouth. He growled as he balled his other fist; trying his best to _not _lose his composure and beat up the idiot standing before him, right in front of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. It wasn't his hobby to get arrested for police brutality.

"Shut up or I'm turning you in for… vandalism," Aomine blurted without thinking it through. He hissed at his stupidity before he vaguely felt his palm getting wet and a little cool. It also felt a bit slimy and—

"What the fuck!?" he yelled as he instantly pulled his hand back and wiped off the idiot's saliva on the idiot's shirt. The idiot, in turn, tried to dodge Aomine's hand, but couldn't succeed. So he let Aomine do whatever he wanted as he said, "Oh, guess what! I'm meeting a really cool person today!"

"I don't care."

"You may know him too!"

"I don't frickin' care."

"Ah, I had to meet him a while back though…"

"I swear I don't care!"

"His name is Aomine Daiki!"

"Th—"

_What._

_Nononononononononono._

_This is wrong. He got the wrong person. _

_Or maybe I'm dreaming. Yeah, this is a dream. This is all a dream._

_But, no. This can't be possible. He can't be—_

"Kise Ryouta! It's really him! O-M-G!"

Aomine winced as the loud shrieks and squealing pierced his eardrums painfully. All he did was blink, and both of them were surrounded by at least half a dozen high school girls who looked _really _creepy. (Because Aomine never knew that angelic teenage girls in cute uniforms could look like pedophilic perverts closing in on their prey.)

He also prayed for the soul of their prey. Then he cursed Izuki under his breath.

The girls started yelling shit at Kise like they _want to marry him_ and if they _could take photos with him, _and Aomine was _so_ confused for a while, until Kise flashed this crazily bright smile at them (that Aomine didn't know was humanly possible) and he could actually see hearts and stars in the eyes of each and every girl there, and Aomine was convinced that they were all members of some coven.

And that's when Aomine realized it.

This idiot really was Kise Ryouta.

Aomine's face paled. Honestly, to him, it felt like someone had just kicked him again and again in the balls and had poured cold water on his poor, abused body not long after. His hand dropped from the idiot's shoulder as he croaked, "You're K-Kise Ryouta."

There was silence for a while, until it all dawned on Kise; Aomine's pause and the way he looked at Kise's fans made Kise realize, _he is /my/ officer oh my god_, and he was grinning from ear to ear at Aomine in a split second. It actually seemed that Kise had forgotten that he was being surrounded by his fans, and Kise's radiance sort of made Aomine forget it too.

And that was how Aomine Daiki and Kise Ryouta's fated _re_union went about.

It felt like time slowed down as Kise screamed internally, rejoicing that the—_his!_—cop was Aomine, who was _the coolest person ever_ and Aomine screamed internally too, regretting the fact that he was ever born, because if he were never born, he would have never met _this dumbest idiot ever_.

Time slowed down alright, because no one realized when the small group had turned into a mob; and suddenly everything went bat shit crazy, and the intensity of the madness of Kise's fans was only felt by Aomine when he was suddenly pushed, kicked, stomped and trampled over.

He tried to figure out _how the fuck _he was on the ground and _who the fuck_ stepped on his dick and he was thrashing about, trying to get back on his feet. But in spite of his situation and circumstances, he looked up, and one thought crossed his mind:

_That's a strawberry patterned panty._

* * *

Mini-Jap!dictionary (Because some words are just better in Jap)

_Omawari_ – Officer  
_Ero-hon_ – Porno books  
_Bishounen_ – Beautiful boy


End file.
